i steal glances at her every few moments in between my scribbles. here and there i'll even chance a few steps over to her side, ask her if she wants a sip of sierra mist. she's doing incredible, given the state she was in just a little over a week ago. i remember holding her hand for the first time in that hospital bed, thinking, "i can't remember the last time i've felt her hand for so long."
why do we wait to hold hands with family members until something tragic, heavy or disturbing happens in our lives?
why do we wait to hold hands with family members until something tragic, heavy or disturbing happens in our lives?
it's in the midst of her painfully slow but steady recovery, in the aura of that hospital room (which she's recently vacated for the preferential rehab facilities), where i finally collect my thoughts on her. and my mother. my fiancee. every person i share my life with.
the fact i have started upon is this: our relationships are not merely biological happenstance or survival code. it is no accident God presents Himself to us as a Father in scripture; the title is nothing but true. it's in His infinite wisdom that God has given us our different relationships (especially family, which i'm delving into here) so that we might understand our multi-faceted relationship with Him.
it's not just the parental role--i'm coming to realize that every meaningful connection i share with another life points me back to understanding how God and i feel toward and interact with one another. each role--parent/child, grandparent/grandchild, siblings, spouse, and more--has congruency with the tie that binds us to our heavenly Father.
and i can't imagine that this is any coincidence.
the easiest place to start is the one we see and hear and understand most readily: parents and children. surely there are plenty of cliched anecdotes, allegories and the like of our God as the perfect parent and we who follow Him are His children. this relational description often comes about from the unconditional love He feels for us. but i want to pull up specific interactions here--day to day events that should remind us of the Relationship we have.
for instance: the idea of blessings. Jesus spells out how we understand God by how parents and children understand one another when he teaches, "what father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? if you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:11-13).
instinctually, parents know how to treat their kids (though some in the world skew the execution of the parental instinct, yea, what it means to even be a parent). parents have the best interest of their children at heart. they know what their children need, require, desire. they are sure to provide--perhaps not in the exact manner or timing their child thinks, but they always come through.
we know God gives us the perfect gift, everything we need: Himself in the form of the Holy Spirit. and whether we've experienced one, both, or warped versions of either of these relational roles (parent or child, that is), we can understand that, like eager children, we ought to look for God as our role model and guide in this life.
it becomes clear with insight into today's youth trends and popular culture that raising children has become an end to check off a list, not a means for preparing them for life and pouring truth into them. it can be hard to see a connection to our Relationship through this sludge of "best friend mommies" and aloof, disengaged dads. and many of us, myself included, don't revel in any form of conflict--discipline not excluded. no wonder a firm hand has become uncool.
but God wants growth. and that doesn't always mean comfort.
we don't have an easy walk in this life, and it's a trial to obey God--just flipping through the old testament and the book of acts reveals as much. it's in these moments of confusion, doubt and anguish that we must ask ourselves in the words of Paul: "have [we] forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons [and daughters]?" (Hebrews 12:5). while sin may seem the easier (or at times even the "right") way of living, God directs our steps as a stern yet loving parent:
yet just like little kids who think our parents aren't letting us have fun, we shake our fists and yell at the sky, stomping our feet and asking, "why can't it be easier?" "where's the fun in this life?" "why make sin so fun if it's so bad?" instead of a clear answer, we are given: "because I'm your father/mother, that's why." we may not fully understand the rationale of our own discipline until we ourselves discipline our child and see through a parent's eyes--just as we might understand God's mysterious workings in our lives once we stand in His presence, or at least read His words to us.
until then, He gives us an example of how to understand our lot in life with the commandment, "children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'honor your father and mother...that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land'" (Ephesians 6:1-3).
obeying our parents, then, is like obeying God. we honor God when we obey and submit, just as we obey earthly parents. the truth--that God loves us unashamedly and operates above our limited scope of reality and circumstances--often eludes us. despite this, He always does what's best (He's God, after all): "whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him" (Proverbs 13:24).
of course, there comes a time to leave father and mother, and cleave to a new family (Genesis 2:24). in this relationship, we also find congruency with our bond in the Lord.
we don't have to stretch our minds too far to see the traits that relate our earthly marriages to our heavenly Father: dedication, sacrifice, life-long commitment, union, etc. but the allegorical links between a marriage on earth and our relationship with God reach further than that. much further.
i look at scripture and see, with bated breath, that marriage is a way of God for expressing to us the backs and forths He experiences in our Relationship with Him.
i offer here two points, seemingly disconnected in the old and new testaments, but when compared together reveal a heart-wrenching, beautiful truth.
we see that God must make a perfect helpmate for Adam by taking part of Adam to create Eve. it just so happens that his rib is the specimen of choice (Genesis 2:21-22). how poetically just is this next scene with that context? in the gospel of John: "but when they came to Jesus [on the cross] and saw that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. but one of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water. he who saw it has borne witness...that you also may believe" (19:33-35).
don't miss the anatomical specificity here: from the side of the man who brought sin into the world, God yielded his perfect wife; just as from the side of the man who killed sin and death, God yielded His own perfect wife--the bride--the church.
as husband and wife might embrace and lay affectionate ownership over one another in marriage, John the baptist expresses similar understandings of Jesus' mission of retrieving us: "the one who has the bride is the bridegroom" (John 3:29). Paul sheds further light on this relational parallelism in his letter to the ephesians:
of course, there's an ugly side to this coin, too.
just as drawing the connections between faithful marriage unveils profound implications for our relationship with God, so does the connection between unfaithful adultery and our neglect of this relationship with the Father uncover equally earthmoving yet disquieting truths.
i can't find a better book in God's word to illustrate the heartbreak and aching God experiences at our denial of His hand than when He asks one of his own prophets to act the scenario out in an earthly marriage: Hosea marries Gomar, a prostitute, and sees just how crazy God can get with unfaithful followers. going around worshiping sports, grades, sex, Baal or money is like whoring ourselves out when we ought to be faithful to God.
how far the world has fallen, and how desperately God yearns to draw us all back: "and I will betroth you to Me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. and you shall know the Lord" (Hosea 2:19-20).
i could go on, but then when would i speak of siblings? how the awkward, disgruntled skirmishes of young brothers and sisters helps us grow up (Prov. 27:17), how members of a family are like members of a body, unique and loved and cherished equally but for different reasons and qualities (1 Corinthians 12:14-27)? of course, loving our brother helps us understand how to love God (1 John 4:20-21), and Christ himself is our brother in faith, who calls His followers His siblings (Matt. 12:46-50), who experienced the same trials and temptations of the flesh as we do (Hebrews 2:14-18). just as siblings stick together through thick and thin, so Christ became like us as a peer, a brother, to empathize and save.
by no means exhaustive, these musings of mine have just begun to awaken in me the awe and wonder of how God arranges the world around us. even in the seemingly commonplace cultural norms of family ties do we see traces of His fingerprints, all for our benefit and drawing us to his mercy seat. new understandings, conflicts, milestones and experiences in our earthly lives allow us to gain deeper communion with God as we adopt new roles and relationships throughout life.
~
christmas day, 2012. Leigh and i step into a new hospital room; it welcomes us more than the last one we were in, opening up new space and a greater sense of warm privacy. and there she is--sharp as a tack, though not completely healed, my grandmother turns to meet us, and her eyes are alight.
i have no doubt she would sing over me, for all the pride and joy (Zephaniah 3:17) that her limited movements still express at the arrival of her grandchild and grandchild-in-law-to-be. later on, her phone calls from the rehab facility will make my heart swell with pride in sharing heritage (Romans 8:12-17) with such a strong, kind--and feisty, of course--soul. hers was an exemplar faith to mine in my early years (Psalm 145:4), and she continues to inspire me (II Timothy 1:5; Titus 2:1-3) even now, as i eagerly anticipate seeing her at home again.
thank God for family.
amen.
for instance: the idea of blessings. Jesus spells out how we understand God by how parents and children understand one another when he teaches, "what father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? if you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:11-13).
instinctually, parents know how to treat their kids (though some in the world skew the execution of the parental instinct, yea, what it means to even be a parent). parents have the best interest of their children at heart. they know what their children need, require, desire. they are sure to provide--perhaps not in the exact manner or timing their child thinks, but they always come through.
we know God gives us the perfect gift, everything we need: Himself in the form of the Holy Spirit. and whether we've experienced one, both, or warped versions of either of these relational roles (parent or child, that is), we can understand that, like eager children, we ought to look for God as our role model and guide in this life.
it becomes clear with insight into today's youth trends and popular culture that raising children has become an end to check off a list, not a means for preparing them for life and pouring truth into them. it can be hard to see a connection to our Relationship through this sludge of "best friend mommies" and aloof, disengaged dads. and many of us, myself included, don't revel in any form of conflict--discipline not excluded. no wonder a firm hand has become uncool.
but God wants growth. and that doesn't always mean comfort.
we don't have an easy walk in this life, and it's a trial to obey God--just flipping through the old testament and the book of acts reveals as much. it's in these moments of confusion, doubt and anguish that we must ask ourselves in the words of Paul: "have [we] forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons [and daughters]?" (Hebrews 12:5). while sin may seem the easier (or at times even the "right") way of living, God directs our steps as a stern yet loving parent:
it is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? if you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? for they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. for the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:7-11)hear that: we're disciplined for good, to share in God's glory and fulfill our purpose as creators that exude God's glory.
yet just like little kids who think our parents aren't letting us have fun, we shake our fists and yell at the sky, stomping our feet and asking, "why can't it be easier?" "where's the fun in this life?" "why make sin so fun if it's so bad?" instead of a clear answer, we are given: "because I'm your father/mother, that's why." we may not fully understand the rationale of our own discipline until we ourselves discipline our child and see through a parent's eyes--just as we might understand God's mysterious workings in our lives once we stand in His presence, or at least read His words to us.
until then, He gives us an example of how to understand our lot in life with the commandment, "children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'honor your father and mother...that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land'" (Ephesians 6:1-3).
obeying our parents, then, is like obeying God. we honor God when we obey and submit, just as we obey earthly parents. the truth--that God loves us unashamedly and operates above our limited scope of reality and circumstances--often eludes us. despite this, He always does what's best (He's God, after all): "whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him" (Proverbs 13:24).
of course, there comes a time to leave father and mother, and cleave to a new family (Genesis 2:24). in this relationship, we also find congruency with our bond in the Lord.
we don't have to stretch our minds too far to see the traits that relate our earthly marriages to our heavenly Father: dedication, sacrifice, life-long commitment, union, etc. but the allegorical links between a marriage on earth and our relationship with God reach further than that. much further.
i look at scripture and see, with bated breath, that marriage is a way of God for expressing to us the backs and forths He experiences in our Relationship with Him.
i offer here two points, seemingly disconnected in the old and new testaments, but when compared together reveal a heart-wrenching, beautiful truth.
we see that God must make a perfect helpmate for Adam by taking part of Adam to create Eve. it just so happens that his rib is the specimen of choice (Genesis 2:21-22). how poetically just is this next scene with that context? in the gospel of John: "but when they came to Jesus [on the cross] and saw that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. but one of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water. he who saw it has borne witness...that you also may believe" (19:33-35).
don't miss the anatomical specificity here: from the side of the man who brought sin into the world, God yielded his perfect wife; just as from the side of the man who killed sin and death, God yielded His own perfect wife--the bride--the church.
as husband and wife might embrace and lay affectionate ownership over one another in marriage, John the baptist expresses similar understandings of Jesus' mission of retrieving us: "the one who has the bride is the bridegroom" (John 3:29). Paul sheds further light on this relational parallelism in his letter to the ephesians:
wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. now was the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her...for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church" (Eph. 5:22-26, 29)so: Christ's affection for us is like a husband's affection for his wife. but there is so much more to understand that's wrapped in the heavenly marriage of Christ and his followers. suffice to say, we can understand our relationship with God and the connection we have with him through Jesus by looking at our own marriages and how they ought to work.
of course, there's an ugly side to this coin, too.
just as drawing the connections between faithful marriage unveils profound implications for our relationship with God, so does the connection between unfaithful adultery and our neglect of this relationship with the Father uncover equally earthmoving yet disquieting truths.
i can't find a better book in God's word to illustrate the heartbreak and aching God experiences at our denial of His hand than when He asks one of his own prophets to act the scenario out in an earthly marriage: Hosea marries Gomar, a prostitute, and sees just how crazy God can get with unfaithful followers. going around worshiping sports, grades, sex, Baal or money is like whoring ourselves out when we ought to be faithful to God.
how far the world has fallen, and how desperately God yearns to draw us all back: "and I will betroth you to Me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. and you shall know the Lord" (Hosea 2:19-20).
i could go on, but then when would i speak of siblings? how the awkward, disgruntled skirmishes of young brothers and sisters helps us grow up (Prov. 27:17), how members of a family are like members of a body, unique and loved and cherished equally but for different reasons and qualities (1 Corinthians 12:14-27)? of course, loving our brother helps us understand how to love God (1 John 4:20-21), and Christ himself is our brother in faith, who calls His followers His siblings (Matt. 12:46-50), who experienced the same trials and temptations of the flesh as we do (Hebrews 2:14-18). just as siblings stick together through thick and thin, so Christ became like us as a peer, a brother, to empathize and save.
by no means exhaustive, these musings of mine have just begun to awaken in me the awe and wonder of how God arranges the world around us. even in the seemingly commonplace cultural norms of family ties do we see traces of His fingerprints, all for our benefit and drawing us to his mercy seat. new understandings, conflicts, milestones and experiences in our earthly lives allow us to gain deeper communion with God as we adopt new roles and relationships throughout life.
~
christmas day, 2012. Leigh and i step into a new hospital room; it welcomes us more than the last one we were in, opening up new space and a greater sense of warm privacy. and there she is--sharp as a tack, though not completely healed, my grandmother turns to meet us, and her eyes are alight.
i have no doubt she would sing over me, for all the pride and joy (Zephaniah 3:17) that her limited movements still express at the arrival of her grandchild and grandchild-in-law-to-be. later on, her phone calls from the rehab facility will make my heart swell with pride in sharing heritage (Romans 8:12-17) with such a strong, kind--and feisty, of course--soul. hers was an exemplar faith to mine in my early years (Psalm 145:4), and she continues to inspire me (II Timothy 1:5; Titus 2:1-3) even now, as i eagerly anticipate seeing her at home again.
thank God for family.
amen.
